MISSIONARIES OF CAPITALISM

Guess what, New Orleans??? We're gonna be rescued by opportunistic technocrat white-collar ruling-class youth! Hurray!

Last night, in true New Orleans style, some 504 New Orleanians attended the historic launch of 504ward, an initiative designed to retain the influx of young movers and shakers who are arriving by the hundreds with dual aspirations of sparking social change and advancing their careers in the inspiring laboratory of post-Katrina New Orleans...

Leslie Jacobs, a business leader and venture philanthropist in New Orleans, spearheaded and funded 504ward. According to Jacobs, "New Orleans is experiencing a historic opportunity as the city is attracting droves of educated young people, poised to advance their careers and contribute to the rejuvenation of New Orleans... A silver lining to Hurricane Katrina has been the influx of college-educated, mission-driven 'brain gainers.' Our community must join together to retain this high-demand demographic."

YUPPIE CAREERIST SCUM GO HOME

This is not a laboratory. This is not your playground. This is not a resume item. This is a battleground, and I hope you wander outside the Green Zone and find that out the hard way.

You're the imported beaureacrats who can't speak Arabic, here to aid reconstruction. Come tour our colorful, exotic marketplaces, kids. You may not be the army-- they're already here-- but make no mistake: you're the occupation.

DEATH TO ALL WAR PROFITEERS

-- D-block

An invitation to sodomy

Enough of this peace/love B.S... let's talk about hatred. Let's talk about these apple-cheeked clowns in red berets on their mountain bikes, rolling around Bourbon St.: the "Guardian Angels." Who the fuck are you kids? Are you from here? Do you live here? I thought the "Guardian Angels" were supposed to be grizzled ex-gang-members, but all y'all look like national guard rejects from Iowa. Where are the Guardian Angels recruiting from these days, Jesus Camp? Besides looking barely old enough to vote, why are you all 100-pound doofuses with skin the color of the pope's thighs?

Seeing you self-importantly "patrolling" the quarter and the marigny with your color-matched web gear and sheafs of plastic flexi-cuffs calls to mind a cross between mormon missionary boys, eagle scouts, and santa's workshop elves, three demographics that have in common 1.) me hating them and 2.) me wanting to sodomize them. It's one of those complicated lust-hate relationships, and you Cherry Lane paramilitary wanna-bes in bike shorts are all three combined. I don't know anybody who takes you seriously; police certainly don't. They know as well as anyone that you're just amateur-hour liabilities. Who sent you teeny-boppers here to "protect" New Orleans from itself? Go home. Or come by the Rail sometime when I'm working and we'll go out in the parking lot and have a nice old knock-down scrap, and then enjoy angry sweaty sex in the gravel, with your trim, hairy do-gooder ankles flexi-cuffed behind your neck. If this sounds like a good time to you, come holler at me. Otherwise, go get a real job back in whatever whitebread hell-hole spawned you.

Love,

the d-block